User:Alex
Alex Landgraf (December 23, 2022–December 24, 2062) was an American lawyer who, until their death at the age of 40 years and one day, was the oldest living person in the United States after the Zombie Apocalypse of 2038 killed 99.99% of people living in the country.
Early Life
Alex was born on December 23, 2022, in Chicago, Illinois, to Jason Landgraf (1989–2038) and Christina Landgraf (née Riewer; 1987–2038). They lived in Aurora, Illinois for 18 years before their boyfriend at the time became patient zero for Ophiocordyceps unilateralis in humans, which started the Zombie Apocalypse of 2038. To avoid drama after a messy breakup, Alex started college at the University of Alabama, which bought them some time to escape.
Career
Alex dropped out of college after six months at the University of Alabama, just in time for the zombie hordes to reach the south. They travelled northwest to find themselves and complete their education. Once they finished law school and passed the Alaska Bar Exam, they finally noticed the zombies everywhere. They decided to represent the zombies in a class action lawsuit for medical malpractice, as it was found out that doctors all across the United States were shooting their patients instead of treating them. The 15 billion dollar settlement allowed them to settle down in Juneau and never work another day.
Personal Life
During their expedition to Alaska, Alex met Gwen Mitchell, who was put in charge of a community resource center in Juneau. Gwen was attacked by a zombie that attempted to enter a medical tent, when she fell over and spilled an absurdly large stack of papers all over the floor. Alex went to help her pick up the papers when their hands accidentally touched; they stayed together for the rest of their lives.
Health and Longevity
Alex had a few major illnesses, including sciatica from 2037 to 2062. In 2062, they began to display erratic behavior, which made people think they had finally been infected by Ophiocordyceps unilateralis, but they had in fact contracted rabies after adopting a feral rabbit named Popcorn that lived under their porch. They both survived the disease, which Alex attributed to staying active and minding their own business. After surviving rabies, Alex reported that their sciatica had completely disappeared. Before medical scientists could begin researching their miraculous recovery, they died from the common cold, which they had caught after going outside without a sweater on.
Real Introduction
Alex is a student at the University of Alabama and the president of UA's philosophy club.
What I found funny recently:
My friends and I have been sending each other music video remixes of old commercials. My current favorite is the remix of the Hhgregg "Christmas in July" commercial with Daft Punk's "Doin' it Right" because it's actually really good. Somehow that makes it funnier.
Potentially Humorous Incident:
I just recently put in my two weeks notice for my job as a math tutor. The next day, one of my students asked for my work schedule so she could have me as her tutor more often. This is the second time that this has happened to me at a tutoring job. I feel bad that these kids like me that much, but not bad enough to stay.
